by Joan C Webb on August 25, 2010
Grieving Loss
“To grieve we must:
1. Feel and express the feeling of loss
2. Gain understanding of the significance of the loss
3. Commemorate the loss.”
Yesterday I read these words while working through the Mending the Soul workbook by Celestia and Steven Tracy. This statement reminded me of the message in the “Accepting Your Feelings” section of the chapter titled “The Relief of Imperfect Emotions, Minds and Bodies” in my book, The Relief of Imperfection.
Minimizing
Grieving loss (lost loved one, dream, job, house, marriage–or the loss related to moving, changing careers/churches, learning you have a long-term illness or dealing with past abuse) is usually deeper than we first acknowledge.
It is more than merely admitting, “It is what it is.” Often when we say that (aloud or silently) we minimize or even discount our pain–and the wounds. Sadly this can work to block further growth, healing and intimacy.
Gaining Meaning
We can allow ourselves to grieve AND integrate the loss. Then perhaps eventually we will be able to say like Joseph did, “You planned evil against me but God used those same plans for my good, as you see all around you right now–life for many people.” (Genesis 50: 20-21)
How has loss impacted you?
by Joan C Webb on August 23, 2010
Less Self-Bullying
“Recently, I tried a new tactic with myself. Instead of asking, ‘What am I doing wrong, Lord?’ as usual (which can lure me into the numb and number, dulled-soul void), I asked, ‘Lord, what am I doing right?’
“It was a truly difficult exercise for me, because I’ve been conditioned to look for the negative (Isn’t that the only way to grow?)” I wrote these words in
The Relief of Imperfect Faith, Prayer and Spirituality section of my devotional book,
IT’S A WONDERFUL (IMPERFECT) LIFE. And then I shared the refreshing response as my heart listened to God’s reply.
This morning while sitting with my broken foot propped up and connected to the ultrasound machine, sipping chai tea and journaling about an ongoing disappointment in my life, I read Galatians 5 and flashed back to these words. So what did I read in Galatians?
“Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you. I am emphatic about this. The moment any one of you submits to circumcision OR ANY OTHER RULE-KEEPING SYSTEM, at that same moment Christ’s hard-won gift of freedom is squandered.” Gal. 5: 1-3 The Message (Caps are mine!)
More God-inspired evidence that I (you, too!) don’t have to bully myself in order to grow spiritually! Consistent encouragement and gentle accountability is more effective. Imagine that!
Are you breathing easier yet? I think this is another picture of grace, don’t you?
Note: If you’re waiting for the next “Imperfect Prayer” blog, it is coming. 
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