LOVE CAN BE CONFUSING
Yesterday was LOVE day 2010. Love is a feel-good emotion. 
Yet it can be confusing. 
At times I think I’ve tried to control the way my spouse, friends and family show their love for me. Over the years in my coaching and mentoring work, I’ve noticed others do this, too. To fulfill our personal dreams, we sometimes push our “loving” ideas on others. Yet this type of love can be limiting. It inhibits intimacy and contentment. True love resists imposing our perfectionistic concepts of love on one another.
CHARACTERISTICS OF HEALTHY LOVE
Healthy love relationships include these characteristics:
1. Allowing for individuality. Differing talents or temperaments do not threaten true love. Feelings and thoughts can be expressed without fear.
2. Not attempting to change the other. We may not like everything about our partner, yet when we consider the total picture we are able to be more accepting.
3. Caring with detachment. Healthy love cares, listens, and responds; yet does not try to fix or remove the uncomfortable feelings of the lover or loved one.
4. Affirming equality of self and partner. A mature relationship treats the partners as equals. There is no sense of competition, one-upmanship or power-posturing.
LOVE–A JUGGLING ACT?
When we practice mature love, we accept what the other person is able or willing to give at the current moment. We allow each other space to grow and develop.
I’m asking God to teach me more about love. I don’t wish to make inappropriate demands. At the same time, I want to be real, authentic and upfront. Truthfully, it can feel like a juggling act. What do you think?
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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
I’ve been giving this some thought too. Being open to receiving the love of others in the ways they’re are comfortable giving it definitely brings me growth in good ways. Sometimes another person can love, love, love in his/her own way and we never get the connection because it’s not our primary love language. I want to be more purposeful about giving love in the way the recipient feels it the most. Takes me out of my comfort zone, but also expands my horizons and I love that. Gary Chapman’s THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES of CHILDREN is a book that comes up again and again in my mind. I enjoy your blog : ) Blessings…
Thanks for you thoughtful and insightful comments, Denese. And thanks for following.