Grieving Loss
“To grieve we must:
1. Feel and express the feeling of loss
2. Gain understanding of the significance of the loss
3. Commemorate the loss.”
Yesterday I read these words while working through the Mending the Soul workbook by Celestia and Steven Tracy. This statement reminded me of the message in the “Accepting Your Feelings” section of the chapter titled “The Relief of Imperfect Emotions, Minds and Bodies” in my book, The Relief of Imperfection.
Minimizing
Grieving loss (lost loved one, dream, job, house, marriage–or the loss related to moving, changing careers/churches, learning you have a long-term illness or dealing with past abuse) is usually deeper than we first acknowledge.
It is more than merely admitting, “It is what it is.” Often when we say that (aloud or silently) we minimize or even discount our pain–and the wounds. Sadly this can work to block further growth, healing and intimacy.
Gaining Meaning
We can allow ourselves to grieve AND integrate the loss. Then perhaps eventually we will be able to say like Joseph did, “You planned evil against me but God used those same plans for my good, as you see all around you right now–life for many people.” (Genesis 50: 20-21)
How has loss impacted you?
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Such great tips Joan! As I held my first-ever-and brand new grandson yesterday I was over-come with emotion. Yes, he feels like a precious miralce and I see God’s fingerprints all over him. But my emotions were flowing as I grieved the fact that my mom never got to meet him. I took a minute to “feel” this and thanked God that her grandson knew her and will tell his son about her until they meet in heaven one day.
Thanks for your comments, Diane, on the blog. You’re probably experiencing all kinds of new thoughts and emotions and fun with your grandbaby, huh? And at the same time really feeling the loss of your mom. Thanks for sharing.