Got Your Ducks in a Row?

by Joan C Webb on June 21, 2011

ducks_in_a_row imageSometimes I get so drained trying to be the ideal wife, mother, friend, writer, daughter, sister, business owner, manager, speaker, teacher and Christian woman (that’s the most confusing one at times) that I just want to step down from my regular life, go away to figure “it” out, and return all fixed and safe for the future. But as Sandy Richardson and Susan Wilsie Govier, authors of Soul Hunger, remind me, “Safety doesn’t come from having all my ducks in a row.”

You’d think after all this time, I’d have the perfect (oops!) routine all formed, wrapped in a neat little package, and ready to open and use at a moment’s notice. It isn’t like that.

Gift box and hand websize2While I do have tools that help, I don’t have it (or me) all figured out. (Shock!) I still have to be persistent and deliberate about maintaining balance (saying yes to some things and no to others) and taking current action steps to experience the relief of imperfection.

I’m different than I used to be. Free-er. Less rigid. It doesn’t matter as much if something isn’t explained just right or folded correctly. I’m more willing to ask for what I need. (Though this is still hard for me at times.) I don’t feel as responsible for my husband’s happiness. I laugh more readily. And because of all this, I’m a grateful woman. I truly am.

Yet I’m certainly not perfect—and it’s in admitting and accepting this that I find such relief! I identify with Katie Brazelton, author of Pathway to Purpose who wrote, “As I left behind my unreachable Utopia and entered the real world of laughable flaws, I experienced a freedom I did not expect.”*

SO HOW ABOUT YOU? What happens when you try to get all your ducks to stay in a row? What makes you feel safe?

*Adapted from The Relief of Imperfection (at Amazon BARGAIN PRICE right now for $6 instead of $14.99. Ironically so is Brazelton’s book, Pathway to Purpose. We never know when the sale is going to show up or fade away. Maybe now is your time to get both! BTW, Soul Hunger is a good resource about Eating Disorders.)

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Melinda Lancaster June 21, 2011 at 3:52 pm

As always, I do relate to this. Sometimes it feels like I go into “remission” from perfection only to come back out. It usually takes a lot of “family looks” from my loved ones before I realize that I am “at it again.” But I have changed a lot. For that I am grateful.

Just last week I was wishing that I could run away for awhile. Not to get away from people but to have time to make a plan that really works. It seems as though every time I get all my ducks lined up in a row…one moves. And it’s seldom, these days, that I can even find them. I really dislike those times.

It really looks to me like everyone else has their ducks in a row. Thanks for sharing that you are still working on it. At least I know that I am not alone.

That’s a relief.

Joan C. Webb June 23, 2011 at 3:03 pm

It is indeed an ongoing process, Melinda. No human being (Uhhh, guess that includes both of us! LOL) has their ducks all in a row 24/7, 365 days a year for a lifetime– or even a week! It’s when I think/believe I SHOULD have the ducks all lined up all the time that plunges me into the deep disappointment.
I think that’s one reason I like the quote, “Safety doesn’t come from having my ducks all in a row!”
I think I want to repeat to myself right now: Life doesn’t have to be perfect (ducks lined up in a makes-sense row) to be wonderful. :-)

Joan C. Webb June 23, 2011 at 3:05 pm

And btw, congrats on your truth: “I have changed a lot!”
Celebrate that gratitude today. Have fun.

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