Stop Living Like You’re on Fire

Maybe you’re just tapping your toe in the burnout cauldron. Perhaps you’re going down for the third count. Identifying your symptoms and the degree of your burnout will help you make intentional decisions to regain healthy balance. Here’s a shortened list of symptoms ranging from the occasionally bothersome to the more severe.

1. Decreased energy/unfocused/confused/disappointed
2. Increased fatigue/stress/sometimes use caffeine/sweets to lift mood
3. Change in weight/occasions of insomnia
4. Less creativity/vanishing sense of purpose
5. Headaches/decreased libido/muscle aches/dizziness
6. Feelings of depression/resentment/rigidity
7. Decreased social activity/nagging anxiety/emotional numbing
8. Exhaustion 24/7 with inability to sleep
9. Chest pains/shortness of breath/stomach problems/dizziness/disorientation
10. Inappropriate outbursts/periods of risky behavior/unhealthy blood pressure/diagnosis of illness

“If you don’t want to burnout, stop living like you’re on fire,” writes Brene Brown, a vulnerability researcher at the University of Houston. Adopting reusable freedom-producing strategies can help you avoid additional symptoms or escape an established burnout system.

1. Develop an authentic picture of yourself. Ask 3 questions: What’s good about my life right now? What concerns me? What’s currently missing in my life?
2. Set realistic goals. By saying “yes” to a new project, you’ll automatically be saying “no” to something else. (If your “yes” means “no” to adequate sleep you’re not doing yourself any favors!)
3. Ask for support. People are often pleased to help.
4. Cultivate a detached concern (balanced love) for recipients of your efforts. You’re not responsibility for the success, happiness, or sobriety of another.
5. Maintain a reasonable action plan of proper nutrition and physical exercise. Take time-outs when you need them.

After one professional woman changed her burnout-prone lifestyle, her teenager said, “Mom, you saved my life. When I saw that you could take better care of yourself, I knew I could heal from anorexia. Thanks.” Self-care is not selfish.

What loving self-care will you resolve to practice in 2012?

Recently I received a surprise email from Lorri Allen, journalist on staff with Family Life Radio. We connected at a lunch meeting and have been email/Facebook-chatting ever since.

Yesterday when Lorri and I met for lunch (yes, again–hey, we both enjoying eating!) she gave me a copy of her new book, It’s All Good News: Encouragement for Every Season. I liked what I read, so I asked her be my guest blogger today. If you’ve ever felt like an outsider (I certainly have!) I suspect you’ll identify with Lorri’s story.

“It was the Williams reunion, and I was having a ball. I was related to all these nice people I’d never met before. They were courteous, giving, godly–and great cooks!

“As an only child who moved from school to school, I had always felt like an outsider. But this day, I belonged. I was part of the club! People here knew the grandfather I never met when he was a young, handsome war hero. People here were taught in school by my grandmother. They liked me not because I was the speaker, the writer, the boss, the journalist, or the wife of a moviemaker, but because I was family. In fact, they didn’t even seem to care what I did. . . only about whose I was.

“Heaven will be that way–the biggest and best family reunion ever. We will be members of the only club that really counts. We won’t feel like lonely outsiders. We will belong. We will love and be loved. We will be important not because of our job titles, accomplishments, or who we married … we will be important because of whose we are.”

When you get tired of hearing all the bad news, read Lorri’s 1-2 page stories/devotionals and you’ll walk away encouraged. You can buy It’s All Good News on Amazon or at her publisher’s website by clicking here. Find out more about Lorri on her website www.lorri.com.

So, I’m wondering: when have you felt like an outsider? And what’s it like knowing that you’ll be one of the “in-crowd” in heaven?

A Story-Guide to Intentional Prayer

Right before our family moved from sunny California to snowy Minnesota ( and yes, the snow was this high!), I read Psalm 27:4*. My heart’s desire was to know God intimately and enjoy His friendship. So, I wrote a JCW (Joan Carol Webb) paraphrase of the psalmist’s words and prayed, “Lord, what I want most of all is the privilege of being with You every day of my life, delighting in who You are and basking in Your majesty and greatness.”

Then God seemed to urge me to read Psalm 27:5*, too. I didn’t like that verse much, because it mentioned “troubles” and the hint of unpleasantness ahead. So I ignored it, until God prodded some more. So, I added the following words to my prayer, “There I’ll be when trouble comes, safe in Your presence.”

A week after we arrived in MN, I had premature labor pains and lost our baby. I felt like my head was in a vice, yet sensed being unexplainably safe. I had heard God’s words to me and prayed them back to Him, relying on His trustworthiness. And He carried me during a devastating time. In the midst of it all, I experienced the desire of my heart: To know God intimately.

Today consider asking God to give you a specific verse/promise and then turn it into a prayer. To help solidify it in your mind/heart, jot it down and date it and watch how God responses.

Want to share your verse-prayer? I’d love to “hear” it.

(Just to be clear: God’s loving presence doesn’t mean I didn’t feel the loss and grief. Or that I don’t experience the pain now, even years later. Recently while sitting with a loved one who suffered a miscarriage, we hugged and cried together over our lost babies. And I have a lump in my throat right now as I write about baby Matthew–although I know he’s in the arms of Jesus.)

*Psalm 27:4-5 NIV:

⁴One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek:

that I may dwell in the house of the LORD

all the days of my life,

to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD

and to seek him in his temple.

⁵For in the day of trouble

he will keep me safe in his dwelling;

he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle

and set me high upon a rock.

Here’s a good reason for me to take a deep breath, exhale and release my re-occurring “trying too hard to make it all just right” approach to life, work and ministry: Give all your worries to him, because he cares about you. 1 Peter 5:7 NCV

Thanks for caring so much and pursuing me, Lord, even when I ruminate, run, and isolate. Tonight I’m praying like author Ken Gire (Reflections on the Word) did when he wrote, “My hope, O God, my only hope, is that you are more persistent in your seeking than I am in my hiding.” You are, indeed. Now I’m going back to sleep.

Several years ago while enjoying a few days away on retreat, I listened to some background music while I ate breakfast. To the peaceful strumming of a guitar, the soloist sang the following words: “God is in love with his people. God is in love with me.”