Stop Living Like You’re on Fire

Maybe you’re just tapping your toe in the burnout cauldron. Perhaps you’re going down for the third count. Identifying your symptoms and the degree of your burnout will help you make intentional decisions to regain healthy balance. Here’s a shortened list of symptoms ranging from the occasionally bothersome to the more severe.

1. Decreased energy/unfocused/confused/disappointed
2. Increased fatigue/stress/sometimes use caffeine/sweets to lift mood
3. Change in weight/occasions of insomnia
4. Less creativity/vanishing sense of purpose
5. Headaches/decreased libido/muscle aches/dizziness
6. Feelings of depression/resentment/rigidity
7. Decreased social activity/nagging anxiety/emotional numbing
8. Exhaustion 24/7 with inability to sleep
9. Chest pains/shortness of breath/stomach problems/dizziness/disorientation
10. Inappropriate outbursts/periods of risky behavior/unhealthy blood pressure/diagnosis of illness

“If you don’t want to burnout, stop living like you’re on fire,” writes Brene Brown, a vulnerability researcher at the University of Houston. Adopting reusable freedom-producing strategies can help you avoid additional symptoms or escape an established burnout system.

1. Develop an authentic picture of yourself. Ask 3 questions: What’s good about my life right now? What concerns me? What’s currently missing in my life?
2. Set realistic goals. By saying “yes” to a new project, you’ll automatically be saying “no” to something else. (If your “yes” means “no” to adequate sleep you’re not doing yourself any favors!)
3. Ask for support. People are often pleased to help.
4. Cultivate a detached concern (balanced love) for recipients of your efforts. You’re not responsibility for the success, happiness, or sobriety of another.
5. Maintain a reasonable action plan of proper nutrition and physical exercise. Take time-outs when you need them.

After one professional woman changed her burnout-prone lifestyle, her teenager said, “Mom, you saved my life. When I saw that you could take better care of yourself, I knew I could heal from anorexia. Thanks.” Self-care is not selfish.

What loving self-care will you resolve to practice in 2012?

According to the National Headache Foundation (NHF), over 45 million Americans suffer from various types of recurring headaches. Doctors report that the majority of these headaches are tension-related. The NHF suggests that “learning to live one day at a time” may relieve anxiety that contributes to the pain and inconvenience of muscle-contraction headaches.

GUEST BLOGGER: I’ve invited Jesus, well-known speaker/teacher, artist and savior of the world to be my guest blogger today. He recommends a similar philosophy which he highlighted in one of his spontaneous presentations and reiterates here:

AZ Desert Flowers near Canyon Lake

“If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers…don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax. …Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. …Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.” (Matthew 6:30-34 The Message)

Another journalist reported Jesus’ message in a slightly different way: “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will brings its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” (Matt. 6:34 NLT)

I realize that the elimination of all stress is impossible in this imperfect world. Yet, I do find it encouraging that intentionally living “one day at a time” can alleviate the pain of my overly-tight muscles. (Well, that’s an understatement!”)

Thank you to Jesus Christ, the Son of God, for contributing to my blog today. What’s your response to his advice?

Balance itself has no specific objective. It is a constant state of motion and flex.

To understand this, imagine the following. [You might even wish to take a break from sitting at the computer to actually DO this! Oh, go ahead. Nobody’s watching and if someone is, she won’t care!]

• You stand up and twirl around several times.
• You run in place for several minutes and skip to the corner of the room and back.
• You twirl around twice more.
• Then you immediately try to balance on one foot.

Now imagine (or notice if you were brave enough to stop and try this exercise!) the subtle adjustments you have to make in your foot and body to maintain equilibrium.

This imaginary activity is designed to give you a picture of what you’re attempting to do in balancing the different aspects and roles of your life during any given day. Balance doesn’t mean scheduling an equal number of hours to each role or activity in your life. Not only is that unrealistic, it’s impossible.

Developing balance is a skill (just like standing on one leg is a learned skill.) Remember God cares about all areas of your life and He wants to help you flex with your roles and goals. Today consider asking God to help you cultivate this skill. You can do it. It’s a doable and reasonable process!

I’d love to hear from you. What has helped you develop balance and maintain equilibrium? What frustrates you about all this?

Make room for your fibromyalgia. I read this simple statement soon after being diagnosed with “fibro” as some people call it. It peeved me immensely! I didn’t want to make room in my busy and active life for this.

Besides, I had doctors and loved ones who looked at me with a raised eyebrow when I mentioned fibromyalgia. One physician actually pointed to his head moving his finger in circles and then pointed at me in an attempt to let me know he thought I was indeed CRAZY! (He was forced into retirement two months later, so maybe he was the unstable one, but I digress!)

So I just kept going as usual with little nod to this new diagnosis. I traveled to Arizona from my home in Minnesota to do my LifePlan with Carol Travilla (we later co-authored The Intentional Woman workbook together.) Soon we discovered I didn’t have the mental, emotional, or physical strength to complete the process. We decided that my next reasonable step was to STOP and “make room for my fibromyalgia.” That was a long time ago: 1996 to be exact.

I don’t talk or write about it much. I really don’t like to. I’m not an expert on FMS. Sometimes I think there’s little info available anyway, so there’s not much to discuss. I’m aware that each person who deals with fibromyalgia has unique experiences and needs. My story is not like yours. I don’t pretend that it is.

Yet yesterday when I got a direct message on Twitter from yet another creative and goal-oriented woman who deals with fibromyalgia, something clicked inside me and I said, “Okay, Joan, blog about it.” So at the risk of sounding overly-simplistic (I know there is much more to this subject!) I add my two-cents here.

TEN ways I helped myself manage my life with fibromyalgia:

1. By asking for and getting support, information and education. I called around and found a Fibromyalgia Center at a hospital in Minneapolis, talked to insurance, signed up and went to classes that included P.T, O.T., water exercises, lifestyle change suggestions, medical help and more.
2. By taking the medication that was suggested. I tried different dosages and types. I’ve denied, ignored, discounted that it helps, but it does. I’m now on the lowest dose and grateful for it.
3. By starting water exercises. This was a BIG one for me because I don’t like water–or swimming. It gives me claustrophobia. I won’t even let the water in the shower flow on my face. At first I worked with a noodle to stay afloat and jog in the pool. For the last 12 years I’ve used an Aqua-Belt.
4. By walking around the neighborhood. I’ve never really enjoyed athletics or exercise. (I know some of you love it and I’m impressed!) This is something I make an intentional choice to do. My body doesn’t feel like it, but once I do it consistently I can feel a positive difference.
5. By discovering the reasons I didn’t have restorative sleep. Some studies show that poor sleep is one of the reasons people develop FMS. (There’s no way for the muscles to be replenished.) I found out I have sleep apnea, so I now use a CPAP machine and it has changed my life. (I no longer fall asleep at my desk, during meetings or in the car.)
6. By taking yoga classes and learning to breathe more deeply.  This is a rather long story. I have written about my “breathing” experiences in my books and in The Intentional Woman group messages on Facebook. Rest assured that I do focus on my Creator and Savior while doing yoga and breathing.
7. By balancing my hormones and taking supplements when needed. I went to a Hormone Specialist (Yes, I paid the extra $70 for the appointment that insurance wouldn’t cover!) and I’m taking bio-identical hormones (not synthetic) dispensed by a Compounded Pharmacist who works with my medical doctor. Right now, I also take Fish Oil every day. There are other supplements that have helped me in the past.
8. By learning how to do specific stretches, enjoying occasional gentle massages and soaking in the whirlpool Jacuzzi.
9. By making lifestyle changes. This has been a HUGE step toward emotional, mental, spiritual and physical healing for me. I addressed my workaholic tendencies, practiced saying “no” as well as saying “yes”, started asking for what I need/desire, taking breaks and much more.
10. By relaxing my urge to try too hard to make it all just right. This step has and is releasing me to freedom. It’s become a life theme for me–and a part of my mission from God. In my life coaching, speaking, mentoring and writing I’ve noticed an epidemic of “trying too hard to make it all just right” among Christians. People need relief and grace. That’s why I wrote the books, The Relief of Imperfection and It’s a Wonderful (Imperfect) Life.

There you have it. 10 Ways that I helped myself manage my fibro. (There are more, but that’s all for now. This blog is already longer than usual.)

So I’m wondering: How have you helped yourself with your pain, tension and discomfort? In what ways are you releasing yourself to freedom?