A few years ago after one of my “Permission to Exhale”* retreats, a lovely woman quietly walked up to me and shared about the courageous next step she wanted to take. Little did I know that I had just met one of the best writers I’ve ever read: Lynne Hartke. You’ll love her blog.  http://www.lynnehartke.com/ Today I’ve asked Lynne (who is also a preschool teacher) to guest blog for me. Enjoy!

Lynne writes:

When two-year old Tyler handed me this picture, I responded like most adults. “Oh Tyler, I love this picture. You used such nice bright colors. Did it take a long time?”

I have learned from past experience to try not to interpret the drawing by saying, “What a nice picture of your mom”, only to find out it was a dinosaur. I also did not say, “Are blue and red the only colors you know how to use? How about green? Orange? Or brown? When are you going to learn to draw a real picture? Take this back and do it right!”

I didn’t say these things because it would be cruel (and I would also be unemployed.) I don’t expect a two-year old to be able to draw as well as a teenager or an adult. I realize that a child is more interested in the joy of coloring than in producing the perfect picture.

In the book Dangerous Wonder by Michael Yaconelli, he compares coloring to Christianity. He writes, “Most of my life I hear the message loud and clear that Christianity was all about…coloring well. If I was a good Christian, if I loved Jesus and wanted to please Him, if I read my Bible, prayed, and went to church, then I would get better and better at coloring…and I would eventually be able to draw close to the perfect drawing.”

I know I have fallen into this trap. I have gotten caught up in trying to produce the perfect drawing and I have missed the joy of coloring. When this happens, my faith becomes a list of rules, rather than a creative adventure. Ironically, my best effort is still going to end up looking a lot like Tyler’s picture and yet God doesn’t rip it up in disgust.

No. He says, “I can see you love the color pink. I like all the hearts you made all over the paper. Good job.” And then He’s going to take my picture and put it on His refrigerator, right next to pcitures from Mother Teresa and Moses. Because that’s what proud parents do.

So although I might not draw the perfect picture, I can’t wait to get out my crayons and markers and create another drawing to show Him. What picture are you drawing today?

*”Permission to Exhale” events based on my books, The Relief of Imperfection and It’s a Wonderful (Imperfect) Life.

Special thanks for my friend and writing colleague, Lynne Hartke, for guest blogging today.

Years ago while recovering from burnout, I enjoyed a few days away on a personal retreat. Sitting alone, I listened to the recorded music of a soloist singing: “God is in love with His people. God is in love with me.”

Tears filled my eyes. For a woman who doesn’t cry much, this surprised me. My soul empty for so long, filled with fresh hope. Yet my next thought threatened my newfound contentment: “But is this true that You’re in love with me, Lord?”

Returning to my room, I searched for affirmation. Then I read, “The Lord appeared . . . saying, ‘I have loved you with an everlasting love’” (Jeremiah 31:3).¹

“It is true,” I whispered. “God is in love with me.” I remember praying: Lord, help me continue to believe that You’re in love with me even when my mind and emotions insist otherwise.

This Week During a Personal Retreat

Last weekend I took time to go on another personal retreat. (I’ve come to appreciate these get-away times.) Before I arrived at the retreat center, I met with a spiritual director and shared my longing: to feel God’s love in addition to knowing it. (Yes, it’s very similar to that long-ago desire.)

She listened and we chatted about the push/pull I often experience in each area of my life: work, self-care, relationships, service, dreams, spirituality. We talked about the almost constant the tug-of-war I experience between the fast-paced/goal-oriented side of my personality and the reflective/slower side.

She said something like, “You don’t have to fight this push/pull, Joan. It is a part of you. Talk with God about that and then listen for His responses.”

I acknowledged and felt a myriad of emotions during my retreat (yes, that was smile-able progress for me.) During an agitated time, I prayed, “What do you want, Lord?”

“Nothing right now, Joan. I don’t always want something extra. You’re the one who always wants something more from yourself.”

“I’m sleepy.”

“So take a nap, Joan.”

“Uhhh, okay, Lord.” My shoulders relaxed; the agitation waned. I felt cared for, listened to–and loved. Like God wanted my needs to be met. Ahhh.

The next day when the agitation reared it’s head again, I didn’t berate myself–and neither did the One who is indeed in love with me.

So here’s a message for all you who long for God: God’s in love with you, too.

Consider planning some time for a private retreat or a few hours away from your normal schedule to connect with yourself and God. If you’d like to dialogue about how, when, where and why to retreat, send me a comment.

Here’s a few photos I snapped during my retreat this weekend.

Joan’s Personal Retreat: How I looked forward to my personal retreat at a cabin in the woods. I planned to take walks among the tall pines, read on the patio, answer to no other person, journal, relax, nap, rest and pray.

After unloading the car and putting away my food for the next few days, I stared at my stack of books. What to read first? The book titled Go Back and Be Happy by Julie Papievis (http://www.gobackandbehappy.com) seemed to call my name. I had never met Julie prior to the day at the Christian Book Expo when she autographed her book and gave it to me.

Julie Papievis: I read the first few chapters and learned how Julie experienced a devastating brain injury that took her to the gates of heaven. As she was about to enter she heard an unusual message, “Go back home and be happy.”

Her story captivated me and I couldn’t stop reading. I jotted notes to myself in the margins as tears threatened to spill from my eyes. (And this from a woman who rarely cries!?) After arriving back in my office, I sent Julie an email expressing how much I appreciated the inspiring message in the book she wrote with writer Margaret McSweeney.

The 700 Club: So it is a delightful privilege to invite you to hear Julie Papievis share her story on The 700 Club (http://www.cbn.com/700club) this Tuesday, September 1, 2009. If you don’t have the opportunity to watch the television interview on Tuesday, visit Julie’s website (http://www.gobackandbehappy.com) after Tuesday afternoon to watch the video.

Julie says, “I think the Lord wants me to keep telling His story of hope!” I strongly recommend that you read Go Back and Be Happy (http://amazon.com) and then share it with your family members and friends. Let’s pass around the hope!