If you’re like many moms I know, you’re tired. Weary. Crying babies. Sassy Teens. You love your kids AND sometimes you just want a little relief. Maybe you can’t escape to your dream-get-away right now, but you could use an energy-break. Here’s four doable relief-tips for you:

1. Ask “What do I really want to do?” When you’re in a quandary about a decision, hopefully your response(s) will help you decipher which is your desire or need and not merely what someone else wants you to do. (Trying to make everyone happy and follow their advice can be truly exhausting.)

• 2. When you get into bed at night, instead of praying “Lord, what did I do wrong today?” and then ruminating about what you coulda- shoulda- woulda done, pray, “What did I do right, Lord?” Then listen to how God’s spirit prompts you, and praise Him for your blessings and His help. (Constant negative self-talk can rob your energy–and your joy.)

3. When you’re overly tired, lacking energy, or just plain overwhelmed with the mundaneness of mommy-hood, ask yourself  “Since I’m going to do this activity or task anyway, how can I do it easier–or even with a little fun)? (Doing something you enjoy, like listening to your fav music while accomplishing an unpleasant task can actually revitalize you.)

4. Before you get out of bed and/or reach over to pick up your baby in the morning or greet your early-bird toddler, take thirty seconds to talk to God. Request His guidance and help for your day. Consider asking, “Lord, what do You want to show me today?” Then watch for evidence of His love and direction. (Anticipating good things can be an attitude and energy booster. And a way to get to know God more intimately.)

So…Happy Mother’s Day, Mommy!

“What about spending time producing nothing but adrenaline, laughter, memories? What about spending some of the day in sheer, unapologetic uselessness–not just ceasing from our utilitarian existence, but turning it right on its head?” writes Mark Buchanan in his relief-packed book, The Rest of God. 

That’s what I plan to do! On my vacation. I leave in the morning and I’m not working in the office again until Dec. 10! 

I’m going to play, lollygag, laugh, and make memories with my husband Richard. Ahhh! 

This I know tonight: God loves me when I work. God loves me when I play. God loves me when I lollygag. And He gives me all these renewal-producing gifts to enjoy. You, too!

When will you take some time to play and lollygag? Perhaps you did so recently. How was it?

A Happy Easter Story (Yes, it actually happened!) 

“Joan, I must be missing something! I’ve tried to be good all my life and do what  God wants. But things in my life haven’t turned out the way I thought they would,” said my friend as we sat across from one another at the local coffee shop. “I just keep telling God ‘I’m sorry’ over and over and over. What am I missing?”

I listened as she shared about her confusion, pain—and disappointing relationships. Then she repeated, “I just must be missing something!”

“Do you really want to know what you’re missing?” I asked. 

She nodded. 

“It’s Jesus. He’s the way to God. He’s what you’re missing. You can never do enough to make it all right between God and you. Jesus died for your mistakes, wrong, and sin. When you accept who He is and what He did for you on the cross, you’re made right with God so that you don’t have to keep saying ‘I’m sorry…I’m sorry…I’m sorry…’ in vain.” 

“You’re kidding me,” said my friend. “So that’s what Jesus is all about?!” 

“Do you want to connect with God through Jesus?” I asked. 

“Yes.”

So right there in the coffee house, we prayed. She told God her predicament, acknowledged her need, told Him that she believed that Jesus gave his life for her and admitted that she wanted a personal relationship with Him.

What Does Easter 2012 Mean to You?

It’s Easter—the day we celebrate Jesus Christ’s death and resurrection. This is not merely a good story that churches tell once a year just for the tradition of it. Easter represents LIFE. It’s the reason and meaning of everything. We human beings, although created and treasured by God, are just not good enough to hit the bull’s eye of God’s perfection. It’s a dilemma, because we long to know our Creator. The good news is we can quit working so frantically to be something that’s impossible. God’s Son, Jesus, hit the bull’s eye for us. His work on the cross makes us right with God—now and forever. It’s the greatest RELIEF of all. 

So when did you come to understand the true meaning of Easter? When did you realize what Jesus is all about?

Some of us race through the day, then hurry home to more projects and pressures. When our internal motors rev up, we have a hard time turning them off.  Sleep may elude us because our racing mental engines won’t slow down. Our heavenly Father knew we might have a tendency to hurry through life and miss the silent joy, so He said, “Be still, and know that I am God.”

Current scientific research agrees that quieting the mind and body can calm the sympathetic nervous system, cause heart rate and blood pressure to drop, and tense muscles to relax. Redford Williams, M.D., director of the Behavioral Medicine Research Center at Duke University, says, “Withdrawing from problems and calming your mind can calm the body, blunting the adrenaline surge.”

I want that–to untie the knots in my muscles. But even more I want to know God–and just sit still with Him. I think Centering Prayer (CP) might be a way to experience both of my desires. I’ve enjoyed CP before, but lately… Well, let’s just say, “Not so much.”

As I contemplate my dreams for this next year, I want Centering Prayer to be a part. Do you want to join me? If like me, you’re interested in living a calmer life in the midst of our culture’s maxed-out reality, click and read this CP information/explanation–and tell me what you think.

I sense God encouraging me to work less, relax more, and reach out with love. I know it will be an imperfect process, but I’m committed to it. How about you?

Sometimes I get so drained trying to be the ideal wife, mother, friend, writer, daughter, sister, business owner, manager, speaker, teacher and Christian woman (that’s the most confusing one at times) that I just want to step down from my regular life, go away to figure “it” out, and return all fixed and safe for the future. But as Sandy Richardson and Susan Wilsie Govier, authors of Soul Hunger, remind me, “Safety doesn’t come from having all my ducks in a row.”

You’d think after all this time, I’d have the perfect (oops!) routine all formed, wrapped in a neat little package, and ready to open and use at a moment’s notice. It isn’t like that.

While I do have tools that help, I don’t have it (or me) all figured out. (Shock!) I still have to be persistent and deliberate about maintaining balance (saying yes to some things and no to others) and taking current action steps to experience the relief of imperfection.

I’m different than I used to be. Free-er. Less rigid. It doesn’t matter as much if something isn’t explained just right or folded correctly. I’m more willing to ask for what I need. (Though this is still hard for me at times.) I don’t feel as responsible for my husband’s happiness. I laugh more readily. And because of all this, I’m a grateful woman. I truly am.

Yet I’m certainly not perfect—and it’s in admitting and accepting this that I find such relief! I identify with Katie Brazelton, author of Pathway to Purpose who wrote, “As I left behind my unreachable Utopia and entered the real world of laughable flaws, I experienced a freedom I did not expect.”*

SO HOW ABOUT YOU? What happens when you try to get all your ducks to stay in a row? What makes you feel safe?

*Adapted from The Relief of Imperfection (at Amazon BARGAIN PRICE right now for $6 instead of $14.99. Ironically so is Brazelton’s book, Pathway to Purpose. We never know when the sale is going to show up or fade away. Maybe now is your time to get both! BTW, Soul Hunger is a good resource about Eating Disorders.)

People viewed tax collector Levi (also called Matthew) with contempt, yet Jesus chose him to be on His 12-man team.

Although I hesitate to admit this, at times I’ve made silent judgments about who is or is not spiritually mature. With the help of a couple of accountability partners, though, I’m becoming increasingly accepting of myself and others. It helps to remember that God is more interested in a person’s willingness and faith than whether they make faultless decisions or produce perfect plans. Oswald Chambers, author of My Utmost for His Highest, wrote, “The men and women our Lord sends out on His enterprises are the ordinary human stuff.”

I’ve noticed that some folks think they’ll never be good enough for God to use in His work, while others believe they have proved themselves to be extraordinary and He must utilize them and their talents. However, God doesn’t say, “You’re super-human; I’ll call you” or “She’s always right, I’ll send her.” God employs the ordinary people of this world—like you and me.

Lord, I’m not perfect, yet You choose to work in my life. I love that!

Make It Personal

What silent judgments have you made in the past about yourself and others? How did they help?

Today’s blog post is adapted from my devotional book, It’s a Wonderful (Imperfect) Life. It’s on Kindle now!

What a great group of women from Tulsa! We met together in Branson, MO in April 2008 to experience “The Intentional Woman Finds Relief” in an intimate setting. Then Women’s Ministry Director, Christy Thornton, and several others read and “played” through The Relief of Imperfection and the “Relief Guides” during the summer months.

Comments following:

• “A read-again book”
• “This book was liberating”
• ” It helped me to accept my own failures and mistakes, and to realize that others do too”
• “I have such high expectations of myself. This book helped me to go easier on myself.”
• The Lord ministered to me through “The Relief of Imperfect Churches and Culture section.” I was reminded once again about the power and priority of forgiveness. When I choose to forgive through Christ’s strength, I am truly liberated. Thank you for that reminder!

Today I read my friend, Author Mary Pierce’s BLOG at http://www.laughlady.com/. I always LOL on Tuesdays because that’s the day Mary (When Did My Life Become a Game of Twister?) writes her Blah! Blah! Blah! BLOG. This morning her entry was titled “The 1% Solution.”

“Last January, I set three major goals for 2007. . .” writes Mary. “I missed each goal by–you guessed it–100%. HA! . . . [So] I’m changing my approach; I call it The 1% Solution. Here’s how it works:
Today, I’ll exercise 1% more than I did yesterday. Yesterday my only exercise was beating around the bush and jumping to conclusions. Today I’ll take a five-minute walk. . . . Then I’ll throw myself a little party. . . Woo-hoo!”

And I decided to respond to her blog, even though I’ve never done it before. I typed, “Fun stuff and reasonable idea—that Laugh Lady’s 1% plan! I just typed in a witty reply to your blog, but made a mistake and lost it all. Bummer. Oh, well, sounds like a little ‘Relief of Imperfeciton‘ for me today.” Comment by joancwebb — January 8, 2008 @ 11:02 pm

THEN I SAW IT! YIKES! So I wrote another entry to the blog. “Oops! I re-read the comments I just posted and I realize I’m having trouble spelling the title of my new book. (Hey, give me a break–typing comments on blogs is NEW to me!) Anyway, the word ‘Imperfection’ is not spelled ‘Imperfeciton.’ The title of the book is–The Relief of Imperfection: For Women Who Try Too Hard to Make It Just Right. And well, the truth is, I’ve made several ‘imperfectionistic‘ blunders today and I’m still standing and smiling.

“Just for the record, in addition to the two I’ve mentioned above, I forgot to get my husband’s boarding pass online as I promised I would. Now he’ll probably have to sit at the “back of the bus” on his flight from Phoenix to Little Rock! Double bummer. It reminds of the Laugh Lady’s 1%. Mary writes that she can’t do everything [just right], so she is going to make a 1% shift in the right direction.

And I did, too. I said, “I’m really sorry, Richard.” And since I’m not down on myself tonight, it is reason enough to join Mary, the Laugh Lady, in a “Woo-Hoo!”

The 1% Solution works! And by the way, so does The Relief of Imperfection! Try it! I think you might like it! Go to http://www.amazon.com/ and type The Relief of Imperfection in the “search.” Also, go to http://www.reliefofimperfection.com/ and write me an email under the CONTACT US menu. I’ll enter your email into my January FREE BOOK DRAWING. Maybe you’ll be a winner like Linda Christ. (See the recent posting.)

Relief blessings to you this January 2008!