I’m back to reality after my extended get-away. (More fun photos about it later!) This wonderful gratitude-producing vacation is the reason I’ve not blogged for several weeks. Well, that and the fact that my website/blog is acting up! Maybe it didn’t like my neglect!! But I digress. Truth is: getting back to reality and catching up threatens to be tad-bit overwhelming! Hmmm.  

While working through the Intentional Woman process this morning (in prep for several upcoming speaking events), I asked God for clarity and guidance about what is on my calendar and to-do list. I realize that I simply can’t do it all without the gracious calm help of  His presence within me.

I also noticed that God is not asking me to do MORE at the moment. In fact, this is the insight I got: Joan, you need to say “no” to all other work/ministry requests until after March 15. Well, okay, I’d say that is pretty clear.

What grace-filled message are you hearing from God today? (BTW, the photo is just a “visual aid” to encourage you to relax & look up to the Lord for help today–or whenever you’re reading this!)

In case this blog turns up haywire, I’m sorry. Part of the “acting up” is that I can’t preview it or edit it or even find it after I publish it. Well, I guess I’ll work on that “problem-solve” this AFTER March 15. LOL!

I’m a walking zombie. I remember thinking and voicing these words after months of awakening with a crying, hungry baby up to seven times a night. (Found out later that he had chronic ear problems.)

I also recall feeling rather alone and wondering if anybody was listening. I never dreamed I’d be so tired. So when I read Krista’s e-mail about her new-mommy days, I identified. Here’s Krista’s story:

Krista says, “I’m Still Here!”

When my son was a baby, he went through a phase like most babies do, where he would become distraught if he couldn’t see me. I’d walk into another room to grab something, and he’d cry. If I walked behind his bouncy seat where he couldn’t see me, he’d wail.

One day I was busy trying to finish some chores, so I walked out of view and he cried. When he couldn’t find me, he screamed louder. I felt sad for him and said, “Honey, it’s okay. I’m still here. Just because you can’t see me, doesn’t mean I left you.”

I gasped. Oh, my, that’s what God is saying to me. Suddenly I felt the love and nurture of my heavenly Father. He assured me that even when I didn’t see evidence of His presence, He was there. This was the first of many parenting aha’s that God shared with me—and I’m incredibly grateful.

I love Krista’s story and am glad she gave me permission to share it in my new book, Nourishment for New Moms. If you’re a new mom (for the first time or the fifth!) you may enjoy the other stories, tips, and practical encouragement in my new book. OR perhaps you’d like to give the book to a new mom who could use a little “nourishment” and validation.

What do you remember about your new moms days? Ever feel like a “walking zombie”?

Anger is a normal human response to a real or perceived wrong, inequity, or injustice. Yet for most of my life, I believed that if I loved unselfishly I would never get angry. So I consistently refused to be upset. Of course, I was angry when someone treated me (or someone I love) poorly, but I called it by another name such as oversensitivity and pushed it down.

Consequently, it was incredibly challenging for me to even admit my anger. (Well, that’s an understatement!)

Yet when anger is stuffed in the name of love and spirituality, it usually leads to resentment. Resentment left to seethe inside is self-destructive. Anger often signals a hidden hurt. When recovering from my burnout, to initially deal with my resentment I chose to talk with a safe and caring person to release some of the hurt.

Eventually I confronted the person who I felt was at the root of my anger. It took courage. God helped me to value the constructive role that an honest look at anger would have in my relationship with Him and others. He wanted me to be free from energy-draining resentment.

CURRENTLY, I’m reminding myself of this. I think I might have some squashed down anger in a corner of my soul. I want to “un-squash” it, let it out, and set that part of my soul free. So I’m asking myself (and God) what my next step is.

What have you done to set yourself free from your legitimate anger? Perhaps what you share will help me–and others?

Tired of the constant media-message to hurry up and accomplish more?

Ralph Keyes, author of Timelock: How Life Got So Hectic and What You Can Do About It, suggests that “we plan life, not time” so our daily lives can become less frenetic. He believes that deciding what we want most from life and weeding out activities that detract from our goals will help us feel more balanced.

You only have one earthly life. So do I. I don’t know about you, but this reality can give me a super-urgency to rush to make a difference. I think sometimes I’ve believed that God wants me to do more, be more, and make a bigger splash for Him. I certainly don’t want to be lazy.

Yet today I’m contemplating the possibility that God does not push us (me) to fill every moment of this life with planned activity. That gets so exhausting and blah-producing. I think I sense Him encouraging me to be discerning and to handle my minutes, hours, and days with wisdom, gratitude, and compassion.

David, the national leader/military officer/writer/musician/husband/father/friend and all-around imperfect guy asked God to “Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” (Psalm 90:12)

Lord, like David, I long for a heart of wisdom. I’m tired of rushing to achieve more, yet getting farther behind. Teach me to wisely balance my days as we plan my life together.

Just wondering: Am I the only one who often feels perpetually behind?

Hope for the Tired

As I tried to climb out of the deep pit of burnout, I loved this Old Testament verse. It gave me HOPE then, as it does now. “If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk, . . . then your light will rise in the darkness. . . . The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame.” Isaiah 58:9-11

“When you burn both ends of a candle, it may produce twice as much light, but the candle burns out twice as fast. People experiencing burnout suddenly discover that all of their mental, emotional and physical energies have been consumed,” writes management expert, Myron Rush. Perhaps you’ve noticed this “I can do it all” phenomenon in your own life or in the lives of leaders you know. Sometimes it leads to shaming-blaming behavior. But God says there’s hope for the overwhelmed and tired.

Have you seen the effects of a forest fire? Once-luscious trees stand barren. Formerly lush wildflowers become parched. Yet God’s handiwork and time can replenish what the flames have stolen.

And God will replenish His exhausted children, too. When you give Him control, He promises to meet your heart’s sun-scorched needs and give you hope-filled strength for the healing process.

Have you ever caught yourself burning the candle at both ends?

People, families, children, organizations, churches, schools, bodies, emotions, and projects don’t have the capacity to be perfect 24/7. And now I have another illustration that illustrates this truth!

I just spent several hours creating this week’s blog–photos and all, only to LOSE IT ALL! It was a nice blog about the daily news, economic worries, grandchildren, tears, okay-ness and ice cream.

And there’s no time to re-do it because I’m “leaving on a jet-plane.” Okay now I’ve not only lost my blog, but my mind is slipping, too… I’m reverting to singing “Golden Oldies.”

I think I’ll go read a few chapters in that book titled The Relief of Imperfection by Joan C. Webb. I think I need it, especially since I just discovered the “photo” feature in this blog program isn’t working, either! Time to shut down my computer and go finish packing for my trip!

Now the tags and categories don’t work. Am I chuckling yet? Actually I am!

Well, when’s the last time you had an “imperfect” project like this one!

Recently I received a surprise email from Lorri Allen, journalist on staff with Family Life Radio. We connected at a lunch meeting and have been email/Facebook-chatting ever since.

Yesterday when Lorri and I met for lunch (yes, again–hey, we both enjoying eating!) she gave me a copy of her new book, It’s All Good News: Encouragement for Every Season. I liked what I read, so I asked her be my guest blogger today. If you’ve ever felt like an outsider (I certainly have!) I suspect you’ll identify with Lorri’s story.

“It was the Williams reunion, and I was having a ball. I was related to all these nice people I’d never met before. They were courteous, giving, godly–and great cooks!

“As an only child who moved from school to school, I had always felt like an outsider. But this day, I belonged. I was part of the club! People here knew the grandfather I never met when he was a young, handsome war hero. People here were taught in school by my grandmother. They liked me not because I was the speaker, the writer, the boss, the journalist, or the wife of a moviemaker, but because I was family. In fact, they didn’t even seem to care what I did. . . only about whose I was.

“Heaven will be that way–the biggest and best family reunion ever. We will be members of the only club that really counts. We won’t feel like lonely outsiders. We will belong. We will love and be loved. We will be important not because of our job titles, accomplishments, or who we married … we will be important because of whose we are.”

When you get tired of hearing all the bad news, read Lorri’s 1-2 page stories/devotionals and you’ll walk away encouraged. You can buy It’s All Good News on Amazon or at her publisher’s website by clicking here. Find out more about Lorri on her website www.lorri.com.

So, I’m wondering: when have you felt like an outsider? And what’s it like knowing that you’ll be one of the “in-crowd” in heaven?

Not everyone will like you or agree with your decisions. (Bummer!)

Some may reject your values, doubt your credentials, or clash with your personality. It can cause you to be overly-concerned about what others think. (I get that, because it happens to me, too.)

The Apostle Paul mentored young Timothy and encouraged him to live wisely and courageously as the person God called him to be. (1 Timothy 4:12-14.) Yet Paul knew the truth: Only God is perfect. He is “the blessed and only Sovereign…who alone has immortality” (1Timothy 6:15-16).

As did Timothy and Paul, you and I will make mistakes. Some folks won’t appreciate what we say or do. Understandably, we can be hurt by others’ negative reactions.

Worrying about another’s response to us robs our lives of freedom and joy. This week I want to relax, breath more deeply and cease from taking responsibility for how someone thinks or reacts. It’s not my responsibility.

It’s an ongoing process, yet one thing that helps me immensely is this: Not everyone liked Christ, either. And He was totally faultless!

Your Turn: When your inner-critic bombards you with worry-producing questions like “What if she doesn’t like me? or “What if he disagrees and gets angry?” what helps you relax and release?

Our anxiety level increases when we believe statements like: “Disappointing my parents would be terrible” or “If I make a mistake in front of others it would be awful.” The truth is: it would be distasteful, painful, annoying, inconvenient – even sad, but not the end of the world.

• What if your mother was angry because you couldn’t come to Sunday dinner?
• What if your spouse retreated in pouting silence when you said No?
• What if you did make a mistake delivering your next presentation? (Okay, I’m stepping on my own toes here and it hurts! Just saying…)

So, here’s a suggestion: The next time you feel anxiety balloon in your stomach (Well, that’s how it manifests for me. Where does it show up for you?), ask yourself: What is the worst thing that could happen to me? Listen carefully for the answer and then ask another question: Will that worst scenario ever cause God to withhold his love from me?

I invite you to pray with me today: Lord, if I made a mistake, I’d be embarrassed. If my mate got mad at me, it would be extremely unpleasant. If I lost a parent, I’d be grief-stricken. But with your help I would endure, knowing that one day I’ll be with you and everything will be perfect.

Sometimes I get so drained trying to be the ideal wife, mother, friend, writer, daughter, sister, business owner, manager, speaker, teacher and Christian woman (that’s the most confusing one at times) that I just want to step down from my regular life, go away to figure “it” out, and return all fixed and safe for the future. But as Sandy Richardson and Susan Wilsie Govier, authors of Soul Hunger, remind me, “Safety doesn’t come from having all my ducks in a row.”

You’d think after all this time, I’d have the perfect (oops!) routine all formed, wrapped in a neat little package, and ready to open and use at a moment’s notice. It isn’t like that.

While I do have tools that help, I don’t have it (or me) all figured out. (Shock!) I still have to be persistent and deliberate about maintaining balance (saying yes to some things and no to others) and taking current action steps to experience the relief of imperfection.

I’m different than I used to be. Free-er. Less rigid. It doesn’t matter as much if something isn’t explained just right or folded correctly. I’m more willing to ask for what I need. (Though this is still hard for me at times.) I don’t feel as responsible for my husband’s happiness. I laugh more readily. And because of all this, I’m a grateful woman. I truly am.

Yet I’m certainly not perfect—and it’s in admitting and accepting this that I find such relief! I identify with Katie Brazelton, author of Pathway to Purpose who wrote, “As I left behind my unreachable Utopia and entered the real world of laughable flaws, I experienced a freedom I did not expect.”*

SO HOW ABOUT YOU? What happens when you try to get all your ducks to stay in a row? What makes you feel safe?

*Adapted from The Relief of Imperfection (at Amazon BARGAIN PRICE right now for $6 instead of $14.99. Ironically so is Brazelton’s book, Pathway to Purpose. We never know when the sale is going to show up or fade away. Maybe now is your time to get both! BTW, Soul Hunger is a good resource about Eating Disorders.)